The Hotel St. Mary's

Saw a patient in the famed VIP wing today. Have been there only once before.

This is a wing on the top floor of the hospital. The first time I went up there, I was blown away.

Fully carpeted, large screen tv with surround-sound system. Large queen-sized bed with mahogany bedposts.

Personal nurse. Personal bathroom with separate shower area, and a bidet (no, Nick, it's not for dipping your ass or washing your face).

The windows and doors are bullet-proof; this was partially designed by the secret service for the presidents when they come here. Even the physician ID cards can't get you in; you need to be buzzed in by security.

Rumour has it that our ex-PM and some royalty from home have stayed here (have seen a member of the royal family here before).

Price of a night's stay here? USD $15,000

Batteries and medications not included.

Doctors' fees extra.

What a crazy place.